


The Loss and Gain of Dawnie Summers

by melancholymist



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:40:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholymist/pseuds/melancholymist
Summary: With a grin and a wink he said, “Anything for you, sweet bit.” And the smile she gave him made his heart ache, because it was as warm and bright as the sun – and just like the sun, he didn’t deserve to be in her presence. So, he crawled back into the basement, into the dark where he belonged, and wondered  to himself why he always loved people he couldn’t have.
Relationships: Spike & Dawn Summers, Spike/Dawn Summers
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23





	The Loss and Gain of Dawnie Summers

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Buffy never gets resurrected, and Dawn is aged up to 17. Heavy smut in future chapters.

It had been 6 months since Buffy died the day Dawn turned 17. The months leading up to her birthday had been filled with ups and downs, grief is odd that way. One moment Dawn felt put together, at peace with her sister’s death, and the next she wanted to burn the damn house down.

  
6 months filled with monsters, vampires, demons, high school, Sunnydale, and the goddamn Hellmouth. 6 months filled with Willow and Tara, her brand new guardians who were so full of love, understanding, and worry. 6 months filled with Xander and Anya casting glances and concerned whispers her way when they thought she wasn’t paying attention. In fact everyone in the house seemed to be doing that to her nowadays. It felt like every time she entered a room suddenly everyone’s voices were shushed; dead conversation wiped out with a cough and an awkward smile.

  
6 months of more of the same. But most importantly, 6 months filled with Spike.

  
Even after Glory’s lights faded and Buffy was dead and gone, he was there. He made sure she went to school, did her homework, ate, slept, stayed alive. Spike, who she thought would’ve left; blew out of town the moment they put Buffy in the ground, kept his word and continued to look after Dawn like his life depended on it.

  
Since then, Dawn’s crush on Spike had bloomed from innocent and curious, to hopeless and unforgiving, which only continued to grow with each passing day. She felt plagued by it; cursed by it. Because the love she saw in Spike’s eyes when he looked at her was the same kind of love held in the eyes of Xander – brotherly love, platonic love. Nothing more nothing less.

  
She wished it was enough. But at night, alone in the dark in the safety of her bed, as she caressed herself desperately through her soaked panties to images of sharp teeth, black leather, and blond hair...she knew it never would be.

  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
“Happy Birthday, Dawnie!” Willow and Tara beamed as Dawn shuffled into the kitchen, still disheveled from sleep. She smiled and stretched, settling in at the kitchen table that was filled with muffins, eggs, bacon, and all kinds of different breakfast foods.

  
“Thanks you guys. Did you get any sleep, or were you up all night making me a buffet?”

  
“Would’ve worked on it all week to make you happy, kiddo,” Willow said with a bright smile and a wink, hands busy flipping pancakes and bacon, “But magic always helps.”

  
“Ohh a magic breakfast for my birthday? I must be special!” Dawn grabbed two of everything to put on her plate, eyes wide with hunger.

Tara brought her a glass of orange juice and quickly kissed her on top of her head, “Got anything planned after school? We’re still on for dinner, movies, and presents tonight, right?”

  
“Might go to the mall with Janice later,” she said in between large bites, “But I’ll be home before dark.”

  
As if right on cue, Spike emerged from the basement with a yawn and a rub to half his face, “Speakin’ of the dark, can you close those blinds a bit more? Awful sunny in here, innit?”

  
With a flick of her finger Willow dimmed the blinds, then sat on the edge of the sink to have her morning coffee, “You know you can always crash in the spare room upstairs, Spike. It’s a lot more comfy than that cot in the basement.”

  
Dawn paused and quickly swallowed her mouthful of breakfast. She glanced at Spike, looking for any bad reaction. The now spare bedroom used to be Buffy’s room, and he was still touchy about her sometimes, just like Dawn was.

  
With a wince only Dawn seemed to notice, Spike turned it into a smile, “I know, thanks luv. I’m just so used to the dark and dank. Basement is still a hell of a lot nicer than a crypt though.”

  
Dawn nodded, the tension gone, “It’s true, not as much mold downstairs either.”

  
Spike grinned, his face lighting up at her slight tease. He walked over and put his arm around Dawn’s shoulders, squeezing for a moment before giving her a brief kiss on the side of her temple.

  
“Happy Birthday, lil bit. Congrats on another trip around the sun.”

  
Dawn almost choked on her eggs, but she managed to swallow with a little hiccup before shifting her hand to his to stroke it gently. The tips of her ears burned from the close contact, and her heart thrummed with delight.

  
“Thanks Spike…” After a moment he pulled away and sat in the chair next to her, while he picked at the spread of food in front of them. She continued with some hesitation, the pink from her ears bleeding down into her cheeks, “Are you still coming to my party tonight? Or do you have some patrolling to do?”

  
Spike scoffed, pretending to be offended, “You’re kidding me, right? I wouldn’t miss it for the world, bit! It’s your last year of juvenile delinquency, we gotta raise a little hell!”

  
Dawn giggled while both Tara and Willow rolled their eyes.

  
“I think we have enough hell-raising around here as it is,” Willow said, motherly tone taking over, “Dawn may be a year closer to adulthood, but the Hell-mouth isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.”

  
This time Spike rolled his eyes, “Damn right it’s not. Bloody hell,” he snorted, folding his arms across his chest and giving Dawn a hard look, “You need to be young and free, out having fun with your friends and shit! Not worrying about all this Hell-mouth, hell-spawn bullocks. What do highschoolers even do these days?”

  
Tara and Willow raised their eyebrows and gave each other a disbelieving look, laughing about how ridiculous it was that a creature of the night could be so naïve.

  
“Oh, I dunno, probably the same things we saw in high school,” Willow said in an innocent voice, “Like drink, and smoke…”

  
“Do drugs, joyride…” Tara listed.

  
“Makeout, and... have sex.” Willow finished smugly, popping her eyebrow and crossing her arms just how Spike did, “Y’know, the stuff you’re infamous for.”

  
Dawn froze and the blush returned in full force across her face and down her neck, “I-I uhm...-” she fidgeted, testing a glance at Spike. She expected him to laugh it off, or maybe get embarrassed and drop the subject, but instead he almost looked angry.

  
Spike set his jaw and ground his teeth together – drinking and smoking were one thing, and yes he’d been doing those things for far too long already, but he knew that they didn’t interest Dawn in the slightest. But thinking of Dawn kissing, getting groped, and especially of her getting fucked by some idiotic high school asshole made his blood boil and the demon inside want to come out and rip someone apart.

  
After a few awkward moments of Spike and Willow staring each other down, he looked away, his head nodding in some kind of agreement, “I get it, I’m a bad example. Guess I don’t want Dawnie doing those things either.”

  
Dawn felt uncomfortable, she didn’t want to talk about kissing and sex in front of Spike, and she most definitely didn’t want anyone in this room to know that Spike was the only person she thought about doing those things with. She tried to act nonchalant, finishing what was on her plate before taking it to the sink.

  
“You guys don’t have to worry about me doing all that stuff. I don’t hang out with those kind of people at school, and I’m way too busy with trying to finish and get into college, so please stop acting all weird.”

  
Spike laughed a little to himself. He knew Willow was just being protective, being the motherly influence that Dawn so desperately needed. And he knew in the back of his mind that she was still on guard, still wary of him, still ready to protect Dawn from him as well.

  
He stood up from the table, stretching his arms and cracking his neck, “We know you’re a good one, bit. Just don’t want you making the same mistakes we’ve all made, right Willow?”

  
With a slight nod, and a soothing caress from Tara across her shoulders, Willow smiled, “That’s right, just want you to be safe, Dawnie. As safe as you can get in a Hellmouth at least.”

  
Dawn rolled her eyes and began to climb the stairs to her bedroom, “Yeah, yeah heard it a million times from mom and Buffy, no need to worry about me. I gotta get ready for school, so I’ll see you guys at dinner.”

  
Tara and Willow knew that was the end of that, so they said goodbye, the both of them heading to the Magic Box to track down whatever hellspawn had decided to pop-up this week.

  
And just before Spike descended the stairs, to smoke a cigarette and brood over the things he couldn’t have, Dawn popped her head around the corner, “Spike, you look tired, go get some sleep, okay? I don’t want you to be tired at my party.”

  
With a grin and a wink he said, “Anything for you, sweet bit.” And the smile she gave him made his heart ache, because it was as warm and bright as the sun – and just like the sun, he didn’t deserve to be in her presence. So, he crawled back into the basement, into the dark where he belonged, and wondered to himself why he always loved people he couldn’t have.


End file.
